Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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