She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
