i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
