dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
