he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
