i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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