Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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