His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
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Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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My dad just said "fuck circus"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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