OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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