Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
