I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize