Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
