So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
