yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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