Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
