There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize