how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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