He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
