Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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