Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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