I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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