he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
