don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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