Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
