Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
