hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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