I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
is it fun? or sober?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize