I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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