i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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