Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize