it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
