I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
