Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
