What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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