I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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