Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
