can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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