Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
