So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
