Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
