Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
