my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize