I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
