she was so not down for the gang bang
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
