Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize