6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
