that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize