I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
