JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
