I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
