I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
