a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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