Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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