That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Do vagina's smell?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
