We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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