there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
