You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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