tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think a kid would responsible me up
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
