I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
