im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Boobs are out for the taking
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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