He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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