why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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