you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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